Get the Smack Away From ME!!


Even though I just posted about things that annoy me, there are really few things that make me postal. I'm pretty laid back and very forgiving, too forgiving most times. There's one thing that really sends me off though, so I saved it off my last list so I could bitch about this subject in it's entirety. Gum Smackers. HATE THEM. I absolutely, positively, CANNOT stand people that smack their gum. Especially when they're standing right next to me and doing it in my ear. This is my "nails on a chalkboard", if you will.

I have nothing against gum, chewing or bubble, doesn't matter. I don't like the kind that are so strong their scent permeates the entire room...but for the most part it's fine. If you want to chew it, that's fine too....but for the love of God people, KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED.

Have you ever noticed that people that smack their gum look really cocky? Reminds me of Ice in Top Gun. All the more reason for me to take your head off and bring you back to reality. I'm not a violent person....the gum made me do it.

The other day I'm standing at the counter of the Spa in our gym to buy a gift certificate for hubs. This lady is standing next to me smacking her gum and prissing around like she's all that. First of all, if you're going to flaunt your arrogance, please make sure your clothes match first. Then they must fit. There's many of these types in Flower Mound. Women that walk around like their husbands make more money than God. That irritates me enough, but the gum smacking???? That's just the icing on the cake. I turn and look at her with this incredibly annoyed look on my face. Surely, she realizes that she's smacking so loudly that my eardrums are experiencing a level 5 on the richter scale. Does she stop? Uh, no. Must....control.....urge....to exterminate her. Not only does she not stop but she looks down her nose at me. I had just been swimming with the Things and my hair was wet, I had on slip on shorts and a t-shirt. She decides I'm clearly not in her tax bracket and continues smacking. I envision grabbing the back of her head and accidentally slamming her smacking mouth into the marble counter. (Go ahead and think I'm psycho...like you've never had thoughts like that!) FINALLY, she leaves. It took me a few minutes to compose myself and talk to the girl at the counter. I ask her..."Do you think that gum tasted as good as it sounded?" The girl at the counter says, "It couldn't possibly". At least I'm not alone.