Huh?

I can't stand the "deer in headlights" look on people. I would just love for it to become appropriate to reach up and smack someone to help them to snap out of it. The problem for some people is that, no matter what, they can't manage to snap out of it. It's just their state of being. I just want to ask them, "are you able to dress and feed yourself without assistance?". The one thing I can tell you I was born without is patience. That's a hard thing to live without when you're a mom, you drive, and basically live in the same world with the deer people. I've worked on my patience with my children, in my car I can say whatever I want to make myself feel better (if I'm alone), and as for the deer people......I've just mastered mirroring their expression until they muster the ability to speak. To which my reply is usually a very slow...uh huhhh...due to the fact that their utterance is usually a brainless statement. I almost wish I could be a deer person for a day. It seems as though life would be much simpler if you were just clueless to what was occuring around you. No stress, just lala land in all it's glory. You wouldn't have many wrinkles since your face remained expressionless most of the time. You wouldn't have to worry about being hypertensive. I suppose you would only have to worry about being smacked because someone was trying to get you to focus.

I can die now knowing I've made it on a Titty Tuesday blog. I'm not telling you where it is but I'm sure you can figure it out if you read my posts regularly. I have to say I blushed a little to see the girls on the internet. Don't get excited...you can't see ALL of them. I enjoyed my day out driving yesterday. I've missed my new little car!! We're all still healing well and getting back into the swing of things. I'll just be glad to get back to the gym but that's going to be a few more weeks. Hope The Punisher doesn't replace me.

Freedom Baby, Yeah!

I get to drive today...wooooohhooooo! I absolutely cannot stand being a pedestrian. You would think with gas being $40 a gallon I wouldn't mind but that's a freedom I don't like being without. I'm not one to sit around the house, but sit around the house is what I did most of the time since I didn't have my wheels.

So, Friday at Football Widow's was interesting for me. No, it wasn't the amazing eyeliner job Kami did. Never in my ThirtyTen years did I imagine standing in front of a group of girls with my top pulled up over my rack! Oh yeah....that's because I never HAD a rack before. Ha. Not only did I flash the bitches my new rack....Kami had to poke them. Poke away, sista. It was only a little embarrassing because the bruising was still a little ugly. I'll show them to ya again when they brighten up a little.

I went to the Europa Super Show Saturday night and had the piss scared out of me by these steroid shooting, no female hormones left, freakish beasts! O...M...G. Have you guys seen these professional, female bodybuilders in person? They look like really bad drag queens. They all have the same huge nose, receeding hairline, and square jaws!! If you look really close, you can see where they actually shave! Now I want me some muscle but not at the expense of my gender. Geez. One of them stood in front of The Punisher to pose and he snapped a pic of him..I mean her....It....whatever. I'm saving it for Fug Thursday, so stay tuned!

I'm leaving...dunno where...just driving somewhere, anywhere, just to be gone. Out.

I'm Smiling...Really!!

I swore I wouldn't post again until I could be positive and have nothing to whine about. Took me long enough, huh? So the new "girls" are settling in nicely. I finally feel like a normal person again after the doc let me take off the binding bra thingie that CRUSHED MY FREAKIN' RIBS IN!!!..phew....had to get that out...promised not to complain. Let me start again. So, I love them more each and every day. I was so disappointed at first that they weren't just a bit larger, but now that I have calmed down a bit I'm glad I had a Dr. that had my best interest in mind. He would never have put implants in that would have caused me any physical problems. I'm only talking a few cc's here, nothing Pamela Lee like, but I'm still glad now just the same. I'll be at Football Widow's house tonite. The "girls" first night out...wooohoooo!!!

I'm dying to drive my new car. I don't get released to drive until Monday. Can I tell you I have never been so terrified of an airbag in all my life??? I have anxiety attacks every time I have to get in the car. The thought of an airbag exploding into my own airbags freaks me out. Considering they still feel like they battled a crow bar and lost. OMG you should see my bruises!! Dr. made me come back in so he could make sure I wasn't bleeding still. I'm not, thank goodness, but the bruises would scare you. I can't even look at the left girl yet. Poor thing.

I'm going to the NPC Europa competition all day tomorrow with my friends Ann and MuscleMomma. I can't wait, it's going to be a blast. There are several competitors trying to get their entrance to the Olympia in this one, so there will be some beasts there for sure. The bigger competitions are so much fun, too, with all the extra stuff during the day like hip hop competitions, hot mom's contest, and strongest man contests. MuscleMomma's coming by to get me to take me shopping for something new and fun to wear tomorrow. I have to find something that looks cute without a bra but that's not tight fitting. I can't wear a bra or tight fitting clothes for two full weeks, so that the implants can "fall in". It feels so wierd just hangin' your girls out there, but hubs swears you can't tell. Funny because if I would have gone out without a bra before I would have gotten plenty of stares.....people trying to figure out if I was a girl or a boy....or WTF is that hanging around her middle??

So I'm off to shop...can't wait for the VS shopping trip in a few weeks!! Anyone wanna come?!

Implant Update

Holy cow Batman...I have boobies!!! It's so incredibly wierd to put my hand down after rubbing my eyes and hitting something on the way down! I've had nothing for so long, it's really wierd for there to be these mounds on my chest. They're not huge, in fact, they're not even as large as I would have liked. All my friends with implants tell me not to judge them until they've been in a few weeks though. I guess they change shape as they settle in. Here's hoping. I wouldn't want to have to do them over. Hubs said I wouldn't have the opportunity anyway, so if they're not what I wanted then tough titty. I'm not very forceful with Dr.'s for some reason. I guess I feel like they know best and let them have their way. Valeri assures me that Dr. Schwartz is the best and none of her friends were dissappointed, so I'll give it a few weeks before I make that determination.

The surgery took three hours, so being under that long made me sleep the rest of the day. Yesterday was quite painful, it really hurt just to breath. Nothing that the pain pills couldn't take care of though. Today I feel pretty normal. I've only taken one pain pill and don't feel like I need another at this point. The soreness is about like it would be after a heavy chest workout, maybe a bit more but not much.

So Thing 1 walked up to give me a hug and looked at my chest like he knew there was something different but couldn't quite tell. It was so funny. He had the most perplexed look on his face. We just told the boys that mommy was sick and that her chest hurt from being sick. Maybe he thinks it's just swollen. It's only a matter of time before he asks me something though. Hubs said to tell him that my muscles just got bigger from working out. Wouldn't that be great!! Just lift a few dumbells and WHAM...instant tits! Sure would be alot easier and alot cheaper. So that's my update for now....I'm gonna go sleep off this pain pill now...yawn.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I LOVE YA...Tomorrow!

So tomorrow's the big day....."the girls" will finally be a reality. I'm really excited and anxious! So since today is my last day as a small chested, B-Long girl....here's some things I will NOT miss. As you can see, it's the "lift" portion of what's being performed tomorrow that I'm the most excited about!:

1. Not being able to wear all the cute tops that lose their "cuteness" when you slap a bra under them. My sister says just to get the new stick on thingies. Those are great if you're just small, but if things aren't where they belong....they don't hold anything up.

2. Not feeling like I need to cover up when I'm naked in front of my husband. How sad is that? A woman should never feel self conscious in front of her own husband! It wasn't until things started moving south. He's the one that nicknamed them B Longs. Don't worry, it was all in fun and didn't hurt my feelings. I may never wear clothes in my bedroom again after tomorrow.

3. My pec muscles being larger than my boobs when I'm working out. Now this is a visual thing, so try to stay with me. When I have a workout top on that you don't wear a bra under and I'm working something that involves my chest....I have large pec muscles for a girl....they flex and you can see what's left of my tiny little girls just below. Ugh. MuscleMomma said she's never noticed before but she did the other day. Then once they've slid down a little because of that, there's nothing you can do!!! You have to go around for the duration of your workout with your girls hangin' low. Very embarrasing.

4. My butt looking larger than it is. Symmetry is a big deal and when it's off things are not what they appear to be. I have a small waist and a good size booty. It's mostly muscle...I'm not saying I have a big butt. But when you're that small on top you're butt APPEARS to be larger than it is. It hasn't been as big of a deal since I've developed my shoulders more but it will be SOOOOO nice to be more symmetrical for a change!

5. The biggest reason of all.....not having to buy padded, pushup bras. Good gosh, when it's 100 degrees outside these things are freakin' hot!!! I mean sweaty hot! Ugh. No more underwires for me...phew!! I'm looking so forward to buying just regular, cute, sexy bras.....hold the padding!

So there you have it. Just a few reasons I'm excited about tomorrow. I'll try to post tomorrow night but will probably have to wait until Friday. My surgery's not until 11am, so I'm not sure I'll feel like posting by tomorrow night. So, I'll be dreaming of BIG C's tonite and wearing them tomorrow....whoot!!

Illegal Swimwear

We are members at Lifetime and they have a killer pool with slides, etc. and the boys love to swim there. So last night after dinner we headed up there to let them wear themselves out before bedtime. I'm sitting in my chair minding my own business when BLAM I have this horrific vision standing in front of me!! Imagine, if you will, a man that is only about 5'4" tall weighing somewhere around 180-200lbs WEARING A SPEEDO!!! WTF?! Now I would totally expect to see this out on the beach, especially down in Mexico, but at a family gym??? I can't actually think of a time when I'd ever find a speedo acceptable anyway but certainly not here. He had more rolls than Mrs. Bairds factory! I won't even discuss the man boobs....ick. I wouldn't pick on the poor man if he would have been wearing a normal bathing suit. But when you walk out in a Speedo you're begging to be looked at, so I make no apologies! Damn I gotta get a pic of him and catsuit girl. They're perfect for each other.

I worked out with MuscleMomma yesterday for the first time in what seems like months. I told her The Punisher measured my bodyfat the day before to see how much ground I lost while I was laid up. She asked, "so what was it, about 10%?" Man, how I love her. I won't disclose on this blog what it truly was but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. It's great to be back in the gym although it will be short lived until next week when "the girls" finally arrive. I'll be so glad when fall gets here and we can start hitting it full out again with no interruptions.

Anyone else watching Supernova Rockstar??? Could they please get rid of that obnoxious hispanic chic from Dallas before I shoot myself in the face??? OMG, if I have to here another rock song with a hispanic accent I'm gonna freak the hell out. They HAVE to be keeping her around just to make fun of her and to keep the show interesting. I actually left the room when she came on last night. I can't take it anymore. Alot of the people left are some really kick ass singers, so if you guys haven't checked this show out yet and you like rock there's still plenty to go. There's so many good ones I can't pick a favorite yet. .. And seeing Tommy Lee playing drums is always cool. He's crazy fun. Rock on!

The Girls on Hold

So sad....I'm suppose to be getting the new "girls" today. Did you know if you were allergic to latex that you can't have surgery in an outpatient surgery center??? Me either. This doc will only do it in a full scale hospital, so I had to be rescheduled for next week. I'll find out the date later today. Heavy sigh.....

Boy was I in a pissy mood yesterday. I'm not talking about a little irritable. No. I'm talking, "whip around and hit you with a hatchet if you talk to me" bad mood. So, for those of you that didn't have to see me consider yourselves saved. Hubs wasn't so lucky. He caught the majority of it all day. I think I have new wrinkles from all the scowling I did. Was it PMS? I wish I had that excuse. I think it was a combination of being irritated about rescheduling the surgery, The Things yelling and screaming in the car, the ortho saying my ankle was still too tight and ordering 4 more weeks of torturess physical therapy, and looking for a new place for my Dad to live.

Oh yeah....the time has arrived. My father can no longer physically take good care of himself or his house. He can still bath and dress but he can't stand up long enough to cook, etc. He hasn't yet accepted the fact yet though and the thought of living in an assisted living community with a bunch of blue hairs really upsets him. After checking some places out I can totally see where he's coming from. He's so much younger than most of the people in those places but his body just isn't cooperating. He has horrible back problems and needs a knee replacement. I've found a couple of independent living communities where they cater to them quite a bit, so maybe that will be a happy medium.

On a more positive note....I got a new car!! Wooohoooo....I totally wasn't expecting hubs to buy me a new one. I got another Acura TL, black on black, way cool. You'd think it would get really hot in this part of the world but so far it's not bad at all. It helps that when I hit my remote button twice it lowers all the windows before I get to it. Can I tell you that Bluetooth totally rocks?! About once a day, though, someone looks at me like I'm crazy for carrying on a conversation in my car when I'm all alone. Oh well....I WAS a little crazy yesterday!

Titty Tuesday Update

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted!! I haven't been able to bring myself to sit down in front of the computer since I got my feet back I guess! I sit down long enough to check email and then out the door we go.

Since it's officially Titty Tuesday, I'm excited to report this will be the last one I will have to endure with small ones. I get the new "girls" next Tuesday...woohoooo!! Did you know why you have to remove deodorant when you have a mammogram???? Apparently, it makes little spots show up on the films. Huh. Well, blonde that I am, I had mine on during my test and it came back with calcification spots. Our friend Valeri informed me that deodorant has aluminum in it and that's why it shows up on the films. I just thought they wanted you to remove it if it was slimy. Since I wasn't and didn't want to run around without deodorant on I didn't use the baby wipes to take it off. Now because of my ignorance I have to go have another one done on Thursday. Ugh, live and learn, right?

Thing 1 and Thing 2 are in golf camp this week and they're totally loving it. They look so cute in their little polo shirts and khaki shorts. I took the camera out to the driving range with us the other night and first pic that I took the camera went dead. Battery. One of these days, I promise, I will have pics of the little cuties hackin' balls. They look so big carrying those clubs. Where did the last 7 years go??? Two more weeks and they'll be going into 2nd grade. Exciting and sad all at the same time. I miss my babies but have so much fun with the big guys. Except for the eye rolling, foot stomping, and the occasional "I hate you!", they're pretty good boys. Too bad they're summer sucked with a gimpy mom. I'll have to make it up to them next year.